Star Wars episodes IV, V and VI [various dates]

“May the force be with you.”

So, obiously I’ve been very busy this weekend quarantining myself watching all the star wars episodes, except for episodes I, II and III which I refuse to watch because Jar Jar Binks is the most annoying character and I really don’t want to do that to myself. I thought about doing separate posts for each episode, but this trio can’t exist really without the other. I’m going to explain them like we don’t all know what star wars is:

A New Hope (episode IV)– Luke is a space farm boy who has never really known his parents and lives with his disco-lapel wearing Aunt and stern Uncle. He dreams of some day getting away and having a different life away from his dusty town. One day, his life changes when his Uncle buys two robots to help on the farm and discovers within one of them an ominous and intriguing message. Also in this land, apparently the laws of physics does not apply to anyone. Try as they might, no one seems able to land a shot on anyone. Also, there’s this strange gas that permeates all life and makes some people wearing robes capable of moving things with their mind, and also very good at space-fencing. In the end, they blow up a big ball in space, and the main characters all survive and get medals. HUZZAH!

Joking aside, love this film. CGI has dated but not so badly so I can imagine at the time this big budget film must have been shocking The action scenes seem really slow compared to modern day films which don’t give you a chance to process things properly, so I really did laugh a lot in one action scene which involved long shots of someone looking over their shoulder, someone looking left to right, some explosions and so on.

Empire Strikes Back (episode V) – The Rebels blew up Vader’s home, and now he is PISSED! He sends out little robot probes across the galaxy to try to find them. On rebel base, Luke nearly dies from hypothermia, and also being eaten by some sort of yeti and hears a voice (his old pal Ben) telling him to go to a swamp and do a workout montage with a robed swamp-frog, so he does. Han and co go to see an old friend of his called Lando, and they are captured; Han’s old debts catch up to him in the end, and he is made into some bronze plaque for a massive slug who he owes some money to. Meanwhile, during his training and despite pleas from the swamp-frog, Luke realises his friends might be in danger and leaves short of being able to do a prolonged handstand, which seems to be the ultimate aim of his training. After saving his mates, Luke has a fight with his dad and loses a hand. But it’s okay, because he gets a robot hand and all is well. Lando and Chewy leave to try to save Han, and the rebels prep for their biggest fight yet.

Return of the Jedi (episode VI) – The gang try to save Han and get captured in the process. Leia is made to wear a bikini and a chain attached to aforementioned slug who it turns out is a monster and probs a rapist. They end up getting free and Leia strangles the slug with a chain, which I think is the single most badass thing in this whole trilogy. Rebels hear that Vader and co are building another space ball, which this time has a protective shield so they plan to go to the nearby moon to switch the shield off. In the process, one of the robots gets seen as a deity by some sort of tribe of plush toys and they agree to accept the Rebels and help them. They manage to take down all of the stormtroopers and foe with remedial tools. Where’s your light saber now, huh punk!!? Luke goes to confront his dad and ask him Y U SO ANGRY. Some old frail dude tries to gode Luke and his dad into a fight for his entertainment and when Luke refuses, the old man shocks him with electricity! However, his dad intervenes and throws the old man down a well but dies in the process. The good guys defeat the bad guys, and Vaders spirit ascends to meet the swamp-frog and old man Ben.


Erm so I really love this trilogy. I watched it when I was a kid so I really wasn’t sure if I would like it but I found myself properly immersed in the story and by the end was blubbering to my partner that “he [Vader] just got lost is all, he just had to find his way home”. I loved that whilst the story throughout told of this black and white good v evil, we all know it is so much more complicated than that and that is portrayed well in the film. Also!! I studied music and one of the semesters was on Film Music so my class got to learn a lot about how people write for films and I remember in my studies I discovered that John Williams, in preparation for writing the score for the film had been told by the director he wanted this feeling that the characters were at sea so Williams actually stole little sections of music from a pirate film to get the same feel. It’s so interesting to me that this was the core intention of the director, because I can definitely feel it, like the Empire are the pirates in this and that the Rebels are some sort of swashbuckling dudes giving out justice. One of my friends, trying to gode me into an argument, told me Star Wars was a cowboy film and I guess that has some merit but pirate film is definitely more apt.

Anyways, this is such an important trilogy. Watch it watch it watch it.

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